For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:14-15
My wife moved out of our home and in with her parents. Life changed in the blink of an eye. I wanted her home. I pleaded my case. I forgave her. I told her all she had to do was WANT to be forgiven (Luke 17:3). And, she would have to quit her job. Notions Marketing was not her career. It would be unfair for me to know that each day she would go off and see Marty. I made it very clear that she would have to choose me over Notions Marketing. One night she confessed the gritty details of their relationship (via text) and I gave her an ultimatum: If she punched into Notions Marketing the next morning, we were done; I would start the divorce paperwork.
I spent hardly any of that night asleep. I sent her text message pictures of us together. Apparently, I sent her so many that her phone battery died over night and her alarm did not go off in the morning. She was an hour late for work. But, she did go to work and punch in.
There is a certain peace that comes over you when something so heavy is no longer hanging up in the air. I was sad, but I could move on. Little did I know she was struggling at work. She didn't feel like she was supposed to be there. She punched out on break and did not return. She told Marty that she didn't feel right at Notions Marketing and she had to go home. He told her that he wished that he still had a family to go back to; for you see, Marty's wife had recently cheated on him and left. He had perpetuated the cycle.
My wife drove home to me and the kids. She told me later that she was driving so fast the thought crossed her mind that she may die in a traffic accident and I would never know that she was coming home. I remember the sound of her keys jingling as she entered the house. I rushed to meet her at the door and she asked, "Will you forgive me?"
I hugged her, "Yes. I forgive you."
Some hard truths came to light when she returned. She had had unprotected sex with him, and then unprotected sex with me, exposing me to any diseases he may have. Thankfully, her STD tests came back clean. I learned that Marty was a criminal; my wife alleged that he had laundered $20,000 from his previous employer without getting caught. He was also an alcoholic who had been ordered to attend AA. I began to wonder who my wife had become...
Within days of my wife coming back to me, Marty asked one of my wife's work friends to sleep with him. My wife's friend declined the offer.
My wife made me change my wardrobe. We went shopping and I had to buy new clothes. She convinced me to buy different glasses that she picked out. She also told me how to do my facial hair from now on. I was in a messed-up state of mind so I let her control all of these things. She was surprised I had not slept with anyone during our brief time apart. She said to me, "I would have had sex with the first person I could find."
For two days things were really great - sort of. She made me do things sexually to her that Marty had done to her. This was very hard for me and sex became very confusing. Down the road some of these things would come up in counseling as unsafe sexual acts.
She started missing him. That was hard for me to bare. When we drove places we couldn't drive the same route that she had taken to his house. Looking at our wedding photos helped her. She made me take away her phone and lock it up. We changed her phone number. I blocked him on Facebook for her (she asked me to). For two days it was good. But for two days after that it was hell on earth. My wife became a brick wall. She did not want to talk. When she did talk she told me that she wanted an open marriage and to engage in threesomes.
She admitted that she had been looking at pornography for a while now. This blew me away; I had no idea. Sadly, I think this addiction is partially to blame for her cheating. She was comfortable in a situation she wasn't supposed to be in because she had already filled her mind with those situations via the internet. She didn't see anything wrong with looking at porn.
Secretly, she opened her own bank account and transferred $1000 to it. She also got her job back at Notions Marketing. She then moved back in with her parents.
The day after she moved out we were to meet with a counselor. Instead, I showed up alone.
The kids and I were alone in the house once again.
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
A Fallen World
Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them. 1 John 2:15
I came home from the Winter Walk very excited because a cross necklace I had ordered from Israel had arrived. The necklace was made of olive wood from the holy land and was assembled in Bethlehem. Not long after obtaining this item, I posted this picture on Facebook:
The caption read: “Love this picture because it symbolizes my 3 covenants. At any given moment I'm probably carrying each one. The coin represents service to the MiVDF 5th battalion; we are ever ready to serve. The ring, a symbol of the Agape love in my marriage to [my wife] and by extension our 3 kids. The crucifix lets others know I belong to Him and is a symbol of his saving grace. It is made from Olive Wood from Israel and was constructed in Bethlehem. We have been doing a series at Church called Believe, Become, Belong. Now you know what I believe, how I became, and I know where I belong.”
Valentine’s Day. Oddly, my wife ignored the card I put out for her this morning and set off to work without it. I thought perhaps she had not seen it, despite the fact that it was taped to the mirror she used in the bathroom. No matter, I was excited to give her Chinese food for dinner that night.
When she got home from work I got into her car to pick up the food. Her car smelled like cigarette smoke. I am angry. My wife didn’t smoke (or so I naively think). She confessed that she did smoke, with her co-worker John, in her car that day. I was so upset that I canceled dinner.
The more I thought about it, the more I grew suspicious. She had recently switched over to her parents' cell phone company because she was going over the text message limit on our plan. The day after Valentine's Day I began checking the phone records online. Sure enough, out of 500 text messages, 400 were to a number I didn't recognize. My heart filled with dread. When she got home from work, I checked her phone’s contact list to see whose number she had been texting so frequently. It is John's phone number. All the text messages had been deleted off of her phone.
At first, I rationalized that they had an emotional relationship. Although inappropriate, we could deal with that. My mind reeled and I couldn’t wait to confront her. She sat feeding our baby who was buckled into his highchair, "Do you have anything you want to tell me?" She said no. I tell her that I knew how much she was texting John. She lied and said that they are just friends. I told her that it is inappropriate for a married woman to have a male friend like that.
I bluffed and told her that I could go back and read the deleted text messages online. I told her, "If you messed up, I get the kids." I gave her one last chance to come clean. She admitted that she slept with him. I crumbled to the floor. I sob, "How could you do this to the kids?" and "You've ruined everything. There is not any part of our life that is not ruined by this." She told me it was only once, that it happened a of couple weeks ago. Over time the truth would come out. It happened 6 times, in addition to sexual text messaging. The first time was 2 days after I met him. The last time occurred on Valentine's Day. I asked her if she even wanted to be with me. She shrugged. She told me that she was sorry and that she never wanted to hurt me.
She asked me, "Do you want to hit me?"
"No," I replied, surprised and disgusted by her question. I have never shown any violence toward women, and I wasn't going to start. She wanted me to do it, I think. That was a trap, a way to play the victim, to blame-shift. She was on the hunt for justification for her actions, but I wasn't a monster.
I left the house. I went to HomeFront first. Pastor Josh met me there. I was crying. I told him that I had an out: Jesus himself spoke of sexual immorality as a way out of marriage. Pastor Josh talked me down from divorce. "But she doesn't even want to be with me." He explained that that was not what she had said. After much prayer I thank Josh and went to leave. I turned to him and said, "I feel like Job." What I meant by that wasn't that my situation was the same as Job's. The first tragedy that happened in my life occurred when I was running the race at my fastest. Or, was I running the race fast because a tragedy was coming? I would never curse the Lord but instead come to realize that the trial I walked served a purpose.
Next, I went to be with my mom. After several hours away from the house I went back home. I don't remember much about the days that followed. I remember realizing that God had given me the opportunity to show my wife the grace that I had prayed for. So, I forgave her. I remember she moved in with her parents. I remember I got custody of the kids. I remember quitting all of my hobbies and things I was doing. I quit everything except my job (I worked from home). I was just going to take care of the kids and work.
I quit so many things. What else could have happened that would have made me quit my life? I had prayed for more time to make disciples and now all the idols in my life were gone. I'm not saying God made my wife have an affair; God doesn't make us sin, our own free will is the culprit (James 1:13). However, if our free will is a fish, God is the water in which we swim. He can use our evil deeds to bring about good.
All my extracurricular activities had served as a trophy case to my pride: my poker league, dungeons and dragons, my military service, hockey (both watching and playing), my elected office, and on and on... The Lord reminded me who I was. The world looked different to me now. I had gone through life up to that point with no tragedy. Now, I had empathy that was not faked or forced. I could see The Fall in the faces of everyone. My story was theirs with a different plot twist.
Coincidentally, within a week of this revelation in my marriage I officially became a member of HomeFront Church. I recall standing in front of everyone during the ceremony with several other new members. I was an emotional wreck, and I can only imagine what I must have looked like standing up there. I needed that, though. I needed a Church family to help me through that mess. Membership had great meaning to me. It came at the right time.
I came home from the Winter Walk very excited because a cross necklace I had ordered from Israel had arrived. The necklace was made of olive wood from the holy land and was assembled in Bethlehem. Not long after obtaining this item, I posted this picture on Facebook:
Valentine’s Day. Oddly, my wife ignored the card I put out for her this morning and set off to work without it. I thought perhaps she had not seen it, despite the fact that it was taped to the mirror she used in the bathroom. No matter, I was excited to give her Chinese food for dinner that night.
When she got home from work I got into her car to pick up the food. Her car smelled like cigarette smoke. I am angry. My wife didn’t smoke (or so I naively think). She confessed that she did smoke, with her co-worker John, in her car that day. I was so upset that I canceled dinner.
The more I thought about it, the more I grew suspicious. She had recently switched over to her parents' cell phone company because she was going over the text message limit on our plan. The day after Valentine's Day I began checking the phone records online. Sure enough, out of 500 text messages, 400 were to a number I didn't recognize. My heart filled with dread. When she got home from work, I checked her phone’s contact list to see whose number she had been texting so frequently. It is John's phone number. All the text messages had been deleted off of her phone.
At first, I rationalized that they had an emotional relationship. Although inappropriate, we could deal with that. My mind reeled and I couldn’t wait to confront her. She sat feeding our baby who was buckled into his highchair, "Do you have anything you want to tell me?" She said no. I tell her that I knew how much she was texting John. She lied and said that they are just friends. I told her that it is inappropriate for a married woman to have a male friend like that.
I bluffed and told her that I could go back and read the deleted text messages online. I told her, "If you messed up, I get the kids." I gave her one last chance to come clean. She admitted that she slept with him. I crumbled to the floor. I sob, "How could you do this to the kids?" and "You've ruined everything. There is not any part of our life that is not ruined by this." She told me it was only once, that it happened a of couple weeks ago. Over time the truth would come out. It happened 6 times, in addition to sexual text messaging. The first time was 2 days after I met him. The last time occurred on Valentine's Day. I asked her if she even wanted to be with me. She shrugged. She told me that she was sorry and that she never wanted to hurt me.
She asked me, "Do you want to hit me?"
"No," I replied, surprised and disgusted by her question. I have never shown any violence toward women, and I wasn't going to start. She wanted me to do it, I think. That was a trap, a way to play the victim, to blame-shift. She was on the hunt for justification for her actions, but I wasn't a monster.
I left the house. I went to HomeFront first. Pastor Josh met me there. I was crying. I told him that I had an out: Jesus himself spoke of sexual immorality as a way out of marriage. Pastor Josh talked me down from divorce. "But she doesn't even want to be with me." He explained that that was not what she had said. After much prayer I thank Josh and went to leave. I turned to him and said, "I feel like Job." What I meant by that wasn't that my situation was the same as Job's. The first tragedy that happened in my life occurred when I was running the race at my fastest. Or, was I running the race fast because a tragedy was coming? I would never curse the Lord but instead come to realize that the trial I walked served a purpose.
Next, I went to be with my mom. After several hours away from the house I went back home. I don't remember much about the days that followed. I remember realizing that God had given me the opportunity to show my wife the grace that I had prayed for. So, I forgave her. I remember she moved in with her parents. I remember I got custody of the kids. I remember quitting all of my hobbies and things I was doing. I quit everything except my job (I worked from home). I was just going to take care of the kids and work.
I quit so many things. What else could have happened that would have made me quit my life? I had prayed for more time to make disciples and now all the idols in my life were gone. I'm not saying God made my wife have an affair; God doesn't make us sin, our own free will is the culprit (James 1:13). However, if our free will is a fish, God is the water in which we swim. He can use our evil deeds to bring about good.
All my extracurricular activities had served as a trophy case to my pride: my poker league, dungeons and dragons, my military service, hockey (both watching and playing), my elected office, and on and on... The Lord reminded me who I was. The world looked different to me now. I had gone through life up to that point with no tragedy. Now, I had empathy that was not faked or forced. I could see The Fall in the faces of everyone. My story was theirs with a different plot twist.
Coincidentally, within a week of this revelation in my marriage I officially became a member of HomeFront Church. I recall standing in front of everyone during the ceremony with several other new members. I was an emotional wreck, and I can only imagine what I must have looked like standing up there. I needed that, though. I needed a Church family to help me through that mess. Membership had great meaning to me. It came at the right time.
Monday, June 24, 2013
Running the Race
Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Corinthians 9:24
The Spirit was moving in me. I had found my Church home and the time had come to bring my family. My wife came a few times. Whereas Church filled an emptiness I felt, it made her realize that she was an Atheist.
Long ago, when she and I were courting, I had made known to her that I am a Christian. I explained that it bothered me to know that she, someone I loved, would spend eternity in separation from God (a feeling I would hope all Christians feel toward their non-believing loved ones). Not long after that, she came to me and proclaimed that she had accepted Jesus Christ as her savior. I was extremely happy, and will remember that moment for the rest of my life. Sadly, she has no recollection of it. I am reminded of the verse from 1 John 2:19, They went out from us, but they did not really belong to us. For if they had belonged to us, they would have remained with us; but their going showed that none of them belonged to us. In retrospect, I do not think she truly accepted Jesus’ offer.
My wife did not come right out and say that she was an Atheist at first. She instead made excuses as to why she could not attend Church. This was easy because we had a new baby in the house. I found out definitively one day while I was doing dishes and listening to Christian music. She asked that I turn the music off because it was "[expletive]-ing stupid."
A couple of months later, I remembered seeing on her Facebook quote section a lyric from the band Florence and the Machine:
And I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't
So here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my rope
And I'm ready to suffer and I'm ready to hope
It's a shot in the dark and right at my throat
Cause looking for heaven, found the devil in me
Looking for heaven, found the devil in me
Well what the hell I'm gonna let it happen to me
While saddened by her apostate, I did not judge her. I, however, felt persecuted. My Christianity was not accepted. Thankfully, she allowed me to bring the kids to Church. I think the reason she allowed it was because: (1) the kids loved going (2) Sunday school got the kids prepared for school-situations (they were still too young to attend school), and (3) it gave her some free time on Sunday mornings.
I desired to help out at HomeFront and find my place in the Church body. We had a meeting after one of the services about "plugging in." At the meeting, we rated ourselves 1 through 5 in several categories. I had some 1's and some 5's and a lot in between. The purpose of this exercise was to help us find our niche, whether it be tech booth, working with kids, hospitality, etc. I recall putting down a 5 for "Faith." Not too long after this meeting, I remember being at home and about to get into the shower. Something stopped me dead in my tracks. Something inside my soul told me, "Your faith will be tested." I have no idea if it was an angel or a prompting from the Spirit or something else. I remember saying out loud, "Please don't test me... I will pass but please don't test me."
When my wife stopped breast feeding she arranged a play date at a place called Java Gym with a co-worker and his kids. At first, she didn't want me to go. She wanted me to stay home and watch baby James while she took the two older girls. I convinced her that I should go with my family. I told her that guys never just have girls for friends, and that she should be careful about hanging out with another guy. She assured me that there was nothing going on. I went along and met him, Marty. I was running high in the Spirit and loving everyone the Lord put in front of me. I met Marty and I chose to love him.
Shortly after this my wife used tax return money to get a tattoo on her chest. It was a rose logo from the band Depeche Mode. Although over the top, I thought it was beautiful. But, she began to act differently. Despite her apostate we had a good marriage (not a perfect marriage, but a good one). But something changed about her. She became distant, withdrawn. It's hard to explain but I am very in-tune to this sort of thing in people. I could feel a tension in our marriage developing where there had been none. We were working opposite shifts which was not ideal, but I knew many couples did that. The arrangement was temporary - until all the kids were in school. However, it all reset with the new baby, who was an unexpected surprise. Thankfully, my daily devotional from Greg Laurie came to my rescue. He was doing a 3 week series on healing hurting marriages. Greg taught me about Agape Love. I kept my devotional a secret from my wife but starting making small improvements to my behavior. What a crazy coincidence! The moment I began to feel a hiccup in my marriage this devotional began to air. Or was it a coincidence?
At the time, my wife had been sleeping on the couch next to the baby’s bassinet so that she could get up with him without disturbing me. I let her know that I would much rather that she sleep in the bed and the baby in his crib. I didn't fight this too hard, however, because it afforded me a good night’s rest. However, Agape Love had me getting up with her anyway when the baby cried and tucking my wife in on the couch. She was going into work earlier than usual on some days, so I wanted to help her out.
HomeFront Church put on a "Winter Walk" (a weekend getaway to a castle on Lake Michigan) for men from our Church as well as from our sister Church, Banner of Christ. I went, and it was a great experience. I got to know many new people there and I looked at them with love. It was at this retreat that I made the decision to travel with Pastor Josh and some other people from Church to Israel in June of 2014. The trip would take place right after my 33rd birthday. Jesus was crucified at age 33. I had been baptized as a baby, but the thought of a believer’s baptism in the Jordan River, like Jesus, sealed my resolve.
At the end of the weekend we were given the book "Multiply." It is a book about making disciples. It is one of those interactive books that you write in and watch accompanying videos online. One of the questions in the book is, "If you choose to obey Jesus's call to follow, what might it cost you?" I answered: "My wife may no longer want to be with me." Right after that it asks, "What might hold you back from following Jesus at this point?" I answered: "I can't think of anything holding me back other than time."
So, I prayed for two things very hard and without ceasing: 1) I prayed for my wife to see God's grace. 2) I prayed for more time to make disciples. God would answer both of my prayers.
This was our theme song at the Winter Walk. When we heard our band playing it we knew it was time to gather together.
The Spirit was moving in me. I had found my Church home and the time had come to bring my family. My wife came a few times. Whereas Church filled an emptiness I felt, it made her realize that she was an Atheist.
Long ago, when she and I were courting, I had made known to her that I am a Christian. I explained that it bothered me to know that she, someone I loved, would spend eternity in separation from God (a feeling I would hope all Christians feel toward their non-believing loved ones). Not long after that, she came to me and proclaimed that she had accepted Jesus Christ as her savior. I was extremely happy, and will remember that moment for the rest of my life. Sadly, she has no recollection of it. I am reminded of the verse from 1 John 2:19, They went out from us, but they did not really belong to us. For if they had belonged to us, they would have remained with us; but their going showed that none of them belonged to us. In retrospect, I do not think she truly accepted Jesus’ offer.
My wife did not come right out and say that she was an Atheist at first. She instead made excuses as to why she could not attend Church. This was easy because we had a new baby in the house. I found out definitively one day while I was doing dishes and listening to Christian music. She asked that I turn the music off because it was "[expletive]-ing stupid."
A couple of months later, I remembered seeing on her Facebook quote section a lyric from the band Florence and the Machine:
And I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't
So here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my rope
And I'm ready to suffer and I'm ready to hope
It's a shot in the dark and right at my throat
Cause looking for heaven, found the devil in me
Looking for heaven, found the devil in me
Well what the hell I'm gonna let it happen to me
While saddened by her apostate, I did not judge her. I, however, felt persecuted. My Christianity was not accepted. Thankfully, she allowed me to bring the kids to Church. I think the reason she allowed it was because: (1) the kids loved going (2) Sunday school got the kids prepared for school-situations (they were still too young to attend school), and (3) it gave her some free time on Sunday mornings.
I desired to help out at HomeFront and find my place in the Church body. We had a meeting after one of the services about "plugging in." At the meeting, we rated ourselves 1 through 5 in several categories. I had some 1's and some 5's and a lot in between. The purpose of this exercise was to help us find our niche, whether it be tech booth, working with kids, hospitality, etc. I recall putting down a 5 for "Faith." Not too long after this meeting, I remember being at home and about to get into the shower. Something stopped me dead in my tracks. Something inside my soul told me, "Your faith will be tested." I have no idea if it was an angel or a prompting from the Spirit or something else. I remember saying out loud, "Please don't test me... I will pass but please don't test me."
When my wife stopped breast feeding she arranged a play date at a place called Java Gym with a co-worker and his kids. At first, she didn't want me to go. She wanted me to stay home and watch baby James while she took the two older girls. I convinced her that I should go with my family. I told her that guys never just have girls for friends, and that she should be careful about hanging out with another guy. She assured me that there was nothing going on. I went along and met him, Marty. I was running high in the Spirit and loving everyone the Lord put in front of me. I met Marty and I chose to love him.
Shortly after this my wife used tax return money to get a tattoo on her chest. It was a rose logo from the band Depeche Mode. Although over the top, I thought it was beautiful. But, she began to act differently. Despite her apostate we had a good marriage (not a perfect marriage, but a good one). But something changed about her. She became distant, withdrawn. It's hard to explain but I am very in-tune to this sort of thing in people. I could feel a tension in our marriage developing where there had been none. We were working opposite shifts which was not ideal, but I knew many couples did that. The arrangement was temporary - until all the kids were in school. However, it all reset with the new baby, who was an unexpected surprise. Thankfully, my daily devotional from Greg Laurie came to my rescue. He was doing a 3 week series on healing hurting marriages. Greg taught me about Agape Love. I kept my devotional a secret from my wife but starting making small improvements to my behavior. What a crazy coincidence! The moment I began to feel a hiccup in my marriage this devotional began to air. Or was it a coincidence?
At the time, my wife had been sleeping on the couch next to the baby’s bassinet so that she could get up with him without disturbing me. I let her know that I would much rather that she sleep in the bed and the baby in his crib. I didn't fight this too hard, however, because it afforded me a good night’s rest. However, Agape Love had me getting up with her anyway when the baby cried and tucking my wife in on the couch. She was going into work earlier than usual on some days, so I wanted to help her out.
At the end of the weekend we were given the book "Multiply." It is a book about making disciples. It is one of those interactive books that you write in and watch accompanying videos online. One of the questions in the book is, "If you choose to obey Jesus's call to follow, what might it cost you?" I answered: "My wife may no longer want to be with me." Right after that it asks, "What might hold you back from following Jesus at this point?" I answered: "I can't think of anything holding me back other than time."
So, I prayed for two things very hard and without ceasing: 1) I prayed for my wife to see God's grace. 2) I prayed for more time to make disciples. God would answer both of my prayers.
This was our theme song at the Winter Walk. When we heard our band playing it we knew it was time to gather together.
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
My Church Home
"But very truly I tell you, it is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Advocate will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you." John 16:7, Jesus Christ speaking of the Holy Spirit
-"10,000 Reasons"
In the Final Days, the Holy Spirit moves across the earth, shining through believers willing to testify. I, Mike Endres, born June 11th, 1981, received the Holy Spirit in my early teens. I was lead to faith thanks to my best friend Tom Searl, who invited me to attend his Church gathering. Praise be to God. My hunger to learn more about God compelled me to read the Scriptures from cover to cover within just a couple of years of putting my trust in the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.
The excitement of new believers is a beautiful thing. But, like the nation of Israel during its early years, believers can fall away, their hearts drawn away by idols. Now, I would not say that I was living a life of debauchery, but I was not walking closely with God through my twenties. I could never find a Church home that I liked, and I often made excuses for why I should not go.
Even at the age of 31 I hardly had time to attend Church gatherings. I had a beautiful wife, two kids, one more child on the way, and a list of hobbies a mile long. Despite all of these obligations, the Spirit moved me to find a Church Family. I longed for fellowship with other believers.
Then I heard of HomeFront Church, where three families that I knew attended (the Martins, the Bartz, and the Peters). I thought I would give it a shot. I remember showing up in a dress shirt and a tie and feeling extremely overdressed. I learned quickly that this was a "come as you are" Church gathering. This was good because I knew my wife would be more comfortable coming to a place like this. I had been scouting Churches alone.
The message on my first visit focused on Paul's call to make every effort to keep unity in the Church. I enjoyed the message, but wanted to make sure that this was the right Church gathering for me. Was the fear of God in this place? Too many Churches were giving in to the politically correct secular views of the 21st century and forsaking Scripture on issues like Universalism and sexual morality. After service I sent the Pastor, Josh Good, an email. I needed to know that this was a Church that stood with God in spite of the World. Thankfully, I received a reply back confirming that HomeFront Church stood firmly with the Word of God on such issues. They walked in both the Love of Christ AND the Truth of Christ (2 John).
I attended for several more weeks without my family to make sure that this was our new Church home My wife, though a Christian, did not care if we attended a Church service. But the thirst for God and His ways were returning to me. The Spirit was transforming me.
A month later my 3rd child was born on September 16th, 2012 at 3:03 PM. My wife and I did not find out the sex of the baby in advance like we had our first two (both girls). I will remember forever that moment when James came into the world and I turned to my wife and said in shock, "It's a boy!" and she replied, "WHAT?!" If James had been a girl, his name would have been Grace. Little did I know that his birth was the beginning of both James and grace.
The sun comes up it's a new day dawning
It's time to sing Your song again
Whatever may pass and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes
-"10,000 Reasons"
In the Final Days, the Holy Spirit moves across the earth, shining through believers willing to testify. I, Mike Endres, born June 11th, 1981, received the Holy Spirit in my early teens. I was lead to faith thanks to my best friend Tom Searl, who invited me to attend his Church gathering. Praise be to God. My hunger to learn more about God compelled me to read the Scriptures from cover to cover within just a couple of years of putting my trust in the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.
The excitement of new believers is a beautiful thing. But, like the nation of Israel during its early years, believers can fall away, their hearts drawn away by idols. Now, I would not say that I was living a life of debauchery, but I was not walking closely with God through my twenties. I could never find a Church home that I liked, and I often made excuses for why I should not go.
Even at the age of 31 I hardly had time to attend Church gatherings. I had a beautiful wife, two kids, one more child on the way, and a list of hobbies a mile long. Despite all of these obligations, the Spirit moved me to find a Church Family. I longed for fellowship with other believers.
Then I heard of HomeFront Church, where three families that I knew attended (the Martins, the Bartz, and the Peters). I thought I would give it a shot. I remember showing up in a dress shirt and a tie and feeling extremely overdressed. I learned quickly that this was a "come as you are" Church gathering. This was good because I knew my wife would be more comfortable coming to a place like this. I had been scouting Churches alone.The message on my first visit focused on Paul's call to make every effort to keep unity in the Church. I enjoyed the message, but wanted to make sure that this was the right Church gathering for me. Was the fear of God in this place? Too many Churches were giving in to the politically correct secular views of the 21st century and forsaking Scripture on issues like Universalism and sexual morality. After service I sent the Pastor, Josh Good, an email. I needed to know that this was a Church that stood with God in spite of the World. Thankfully, I received a reply back confirming that HomeFront Church stood firmly with the Word of God on such issues. They walked in both the Love of Christ AND the Truth of Christ (2 John).
I attended for several more weeks without my family to make sure that this was our new Church home My wife, though a Christian, did not care if we attended a Church service. But the thirst for God and His ways were returning to me. The Spirit was transforming me.
A month later my 3rd child was born on September 16th, 2012 at 3:03 PM. My wife and I did not find out the sex of the baby in advance like we had our first two (both girls). I will remember forever that moment when James came into the world and I turned to my wife and said in shock, "It's a boy!" and she replied, "WHAT?!" If James had been a girl, his name would have been Grace. Little did I know that his birth was the beginning of both James and grace.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)