Hezekiah's Tunnel
It was Hezekiah who blocked the upper outlet of the Gihon spring and channeled the water down to the west side of the City of David. He succeeded in everything he undertook. -2 Chronicles 32:30
Mark and I had a choice to make. We could take Joab's dry tunnel, or Hezekiah's 1500 feet long underground wet tunnel. Of course we decide to take the wet tunnel. Hezekiah's tunnel isn't always open for exploration because the water is often too high, but since Israel is experiencing a drought the levels are low enough for traversing. This trip has been very heavy and emotional for me at times. I think that's why God made sure to room me with Mark. This adventure is rich with meaning, AND it has had a lighter side. I'm having fun gallivanting across Israel.
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At the end of Hezekiah's tunnel lies the Pool of Siloam.
When He had said this, He spat on the ground, and made clay of the spittle, and applied the clay to his eyes, and said to him, “Go, wash in the pool of Siloam” (which is translated, Sent). So he went away and washed, and came back seeing. Therefore the neighbors, and those who previously saw him as a beggar, were saying, “Is not this the one who used to sit and beg?” Others were saying, “This is he,” still others were saying, “No, but he is like him.” He kept saying, “I am the one.” So they were saying to him, “How then were your eyes opened?” He answered, “The man who is called Jesus made clay, and anointed my eyes, and said to me, ‘Go to Siloam and wash’; so I went away and washed, and I received sight.” They said to him, “Where is He?” He said, “I do not know.” -John 9:6-12
Notice in Scripture that Jesus heals different people in different ways. He heals by touch (Matthew 8:3). He heals from a distance (Luke 17:11-14). He even heals when not in the presence of the one He's healing (Luke 7:1-10). God chooses to heal us as He wills. Different people require different healing methods. God is healing my heart in a very special way. Tomorrow I will find out to what extent God is willing to go to bring me healing; He sometimes heals us in ways we do not see coming. God can heal you, too, in just the right way.
Shenanigans
My roommate Mark and I have a lot in common. Born a generation apart, we have both suffered the heart ache of a cheating spouse, divorce, and the raising of our kids as a single parent. Mark's wisdom has helped me cope and get through hard times. He, like me, appreciates a good adventure, and a good laugh.
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While staying in the Royal Hotel on the Dead Sea we overheard familiar voices coming from the adjoining room - the Reiffers. They had not yet discovered that Mark and I were roomed next to them. Mustering our best Arabic shouting we began banging loudly on the door between the rooms. In broken English we demanded that they, "Open door! Open door now!"
"No!" we heard from the other side of the door. "You've got the wrong room!"
Laughing hysterically we reply, "Are you sure? It's Mike and Mark."
Thus we had the reputation of being the most likely to get arrested while in Israel. God knows me well. He knows that right now I need to laugh and live. There was once a time I could love, too; I could love anyone put in front of me. I miss that.
The Jewish Quarter
While in the Jewish Quarter I take the opportunity to buy a kippah (Jewish hat) and a tallit (Jewish prayer shawl). The tallit has many strands that hang off from it, including 4 longer strands that represent the 4 corners of the earth. I plan to wear these garments while at the Wailing Wall.
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| This is the Broad Wall, built somewhere between 536 & 516 B.C. Uzziel son of Harhaiah, one of the goldsmiths, repaired the next section; and Hananiah, one of the perfume-makers, made repairs next to that. They restored Jerusalem as far as the Broad Wall. -Nehemiah 3:8 |
On our way to the Wailing (Western) Wall we encounter some other walls with interesting stories to tell. But it is the Wailing Wall that I am most interested in. Because the Temple Mount is under Muslim control, the closest that the Jewish people can get to the holiest of holies to pray is the Wailing Wall. The holiest of holies was the room containing the Ark of the Covenant where sat the presence of God between the Cherubim. Jews come to this wall to pray and stuff prayer requests, written on paper, into the cracks of the wall. Before reaching the outside Western Wall we visit the portion of the wall that lies underground. It is here that I write my prayer in my journal. It reads, "Lord, please accept my sacrifice. Lord, please take away my burden." I rip the prayer out of my journal and wrap it around my wedding band.
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***
Nicole, "Mike, let's pretend that Jesus is here. He's going to build you your perfect wife. You can have anyone you want. What do you tell him?"
I break down, "My wife before the affair. But she doesn't exist. She's dead. I look at old photos and think to myself, 'Where did that person go?'"
"When did you first notice a change in your wife?" Nicole asks.
"About a month, month and a half before I found out about the affair," I explain. "It's like a switch was flipped. I remember I started doing devotionals to improve our marriage. I remember right before the change in her we had gone on a date night and everything was normal."
"You will most likely always have feelings for her," Nicole tells me. "You were made in the image of God and He didn't cast off His feelings for us. If your wife had died, no one would say that, Mike, you should be over her by now. You are mourning someone that you still have to encounter. This is why you can't be in the same room with her."
"It's not fair to Jen that I still have feelings for her," I go on.
"It's okay to still have feelings for her," Ryan interjects. "You come alive when you talk about her. That's okay. We want to embrace your alive-ness. We want to help you cope with it correctly."
"Thank you for telling me that it's okay," I sigh. "I needed to hear that."
***
Above ground now, our group approaches the Wailing Wall. Kenric comes up to me and asks if he can take pictures. I thank him and tell him yes. I don't know it at the time but Pastor Josh is taking video with his phone. I'm looking for a spot along the wall, somewhere with a deep crevice. I find a spot, set down my back pack, and with my ring in my right hand I lean against the wall.
I wasn't sure how I was going to feel at this moment, but the weight of it hits me as my head leans against the wall. I feel very broken and small. I pray, "Lord please take away my burden" three times followed by "Lord please accept my sacrifice" three times. Of all the reasons my ex-wife gave me for leaving, my faith stands out as the biggest one. I would choose the Lord every time over her.
I move my arm deep into the crevice. I feel other prayer notes against my hand. I go deeper, feeling the crack angling upward and narrowing. I find a spot. It is time to let go. It is time to drop the symbol of my marriage. But something unexpected happens. I freeze. I can't let go. Finally I force the ring deeper still. Now only the tip of my finger touches the ring. Still I can't let go. I push it away even further. I can feel it but just barely now. This moment is too final. And then it dawns on me; THIS is my burden, that I have been unable to LET GO. I've been living between two lives. This has been my problem the whole time. Living in the "in between" is a place of depression and anxiety. A moment of courage comes and I let go, pulling my arm out of the crevice. Peace washes over me. I take a breath and feel the relief. I want to bask in this relief so I lean my head against the stone and rest for a while. If my baptism marked the symbolic beginning of my new life, this was the symbolic leaving behind of my old life.
I also have to let go of the lies. My ex-wife told me that I was "controlling." I've wasted days of my life running circles in my mind trying to recall an occasion in which I was "controlling." I always come up with nothing except examples in which she controlled me through manipulation. I've asked her many times to give me an example of how I have "controlled" her. She has none. I'm letting go of wasting time trying to fix something that is not broken. The domestic life "controlled" my ex-wife, not me. She was controlled by the life she chose for herself and convinced me to give her only to abandon it immediately after having a 3rd child. Placing the blame on me justified her actions. I need to STOP believing the lies once and for all. I need to let go and leave them at the wall with my ring. I've allowed her to make me feel small long enough.
Finally, I step away from the wall and retrieve my back pack. Mark walks up to me and I tell him, "It's gone." Next, I find a bench on the other side of the court and sit, taking in the beauty of the Wailing Wall. I sit there alone and mourn. The prayer that I placed in the wall is one that I have prayed many times over the last year and a half. "Lord, please take away my burden." But, the burden always remained, dominating my thoughts. Little did I know that today I was 1 day away from my prayer being answered at long last. God would do something amazing tomorrow.
“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. -Matthew 7:7-8
PASSWORD: 33
For our next stop, The Church of the Holy Sepulchre, we cut through the Muslim Quarter to get into the Christian Quarter. While beautiful, I take this Church with a grain of salt. The Church of the Holy Sepulchre claims to be built over several meaningful spots including where Jesus was nailed to the cross, where he was crucified, and where he was buried. The difference between a place like this and places like Hezekiah's Tunnel and the Western (Wailing) Wall is that The Church of the Holy Sepulchre is all conjecture. We know that Hezekiah's Tunnel is Hezekiah's Tunnel. Likewise, it's pretty difficult to get the Western Wall of the Temple Mount wrong. The Church of the Holy Sepulchre seems very forced to me.
The positive about being faced with the dilemma of authenticity is that it forces you to examine your motives. Am I in Israel trying to turn my Bible into a comic book, because I want to SEE. Or, am I here to grow in my spiritual walk and know my creator better? Don't get me wrong, there's no doubt in my mind that God holds Israel, the Promise Land, in high esteem. It's important to Him. I could give in and believe that this Church is genuine, or I can seek a more authentic experience, like the story God is unveiling to me personally. This trip has meant far more to me than just visiting historic sights.
While touring the Church, Juda points out a rock on which Jesus was prepared for burial. It was here that Jesus' blood, sweat and dirt was wiped away. That's odd, though, since Juda tells us that the stone was placed there 200 years ago. However, that doesn't stop folks from kneeling next to it and touching it like it's sacred. In fact, when the crusaders were here, they found 3 crosses buried on the spot they would then claim was the location of Jesus' crucifixion. But in 70 A.D. the Romans were crucifying at a rate of 500 people per day. Who knows who that center cross belonged to. Never the less the crusaders kept the cross and held it as sacred for 1000 years in this Church until it was destroyed by conquering Muslims who dragged the cross behind a horse through the streets. In a way I'm glad that the cross was destroyed. I think back to the Venerating of the Cross ceremony that I witnessed. We have to be very careful about what we worship, and whether it's a good idea to bow down to a rock here or a cross there. The important thing is what Jesus did for us on the cross, not the cross itself.
I have to apply this mindset to the Wailing Wall and my own cross that I wear around my neck. It's more important what God did for me at the Wailing Wall than the wall itself. Also, I wear my cross necklace not to worship it, but as a testimony for those who see it on me, letting them know that I belong to Him.
“Kill him! Kill him!” they yelled. “Nail him to a cross!”
“So you want me to nail your king to a cross?” Pilate asked.
The chief priests replied, “The Emperor is our king!” Then Pilate handed Jesus over to be nailed to a cross.
-John 19:15-16
Jesus' mother stood beside his cross with her sister and Mary the wife of Clopas. Mary Magdalene was standing there too. When Jesus saw his mother and his favorite disciple with her, he said to his mother, “This man is now your son.” Then he said to the disciple, “She is now your mother.” From then on, that disciple took her into his own home.
-John 19:25-27
Our group files back onto the bus. We have one more stop for the day: Shepherds' Field. This field overlooks the City of Bethlehem. I recall how the cross that I wear around my neck was made in Bethlehem out of olive wood. My necklace, which I ordered online, has made a return journey to its place of origin!
And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”
Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,
“Glory to God in the highest heaven,
and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”
When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”
-Luke 2:8-15
This location reminds me that Jesus is my shepherd, my guide. On a day in which I relinquished my wedding ring I find myself eager to get my new, hand-crafted ring that I ordered, which reads, "Where you go I will follow." My attitude is so much better when I am intentionally following Christ's leading. Tomorrow we will walk on the path of Christ, from his last supper to his tomb. It stands to be the most solemn day of the trip.
“Very truly I tell you Pharisees, anyone who does not enter the sheep pen by the gate, but climbs in by some other way, is a thief and a robber. The one who enters by the gate is the shepherd of the sheep. The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice. But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger’s voice.” -John 10:1-5
We end our day of exploring earlier than usual because night fall marks the beginning of the Shabbat. Mark and I once again leave our hotel window open as we sleep. Being that it's the Shabbat, Jerusalem is quiet this night. For the first night in many my ex-wife does not haunt my dreams.
The Church of the Holy Sepulchre
For our next stop, The Church of the Holy Sepulchre, we cut through the Muslim Quarter to get into the Christian Quarter. While beautiful, I take this Church with a grain of salt. The Church of the Holy Sepulchre claims to be built over several meaningful spots including where Jesus was nailed to the cross, where he was crucified, and where he was buried. The difference between a place like this and places like Hezekiah's Tunnel and the Western (Wailing) Wall is that The Church of the Holy Sepulchre is all conjecture. We know that Hezekiah's Tunnel is Hezekiah's Tunnel. Likewise, it's pretty difficult to get the Western Wall of the Temple Mount wrong. The Church of the Holy Sepulchre seems very forced to me.
 |
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The positive about being faced with the dilemma of authenticity is that it forces you to examine your motives. Am I in Israel trying to turn my Bible into a comic book, because I want to SEE. Or, am I here to grow in my spiritual walk and know my creator better? Don't get me wrong, there's no doubt in my mind that God holds Israel, the Promise Land, in high esteem. It's important to Him. I could give in and believe that this Church is genuine, or I can seek a more authentic experience, like the story God is unveiling to me personally. This trip has meant far more to me than just visiting historic sights.
While touring the Church, Juda points out a rock on which Jesus was prepared for burial. It was here that Jesus' blood, sweat and dirt was wiped away. That's odd, though, since Juda tells us that the stone was placed there 200 years ago. However, that doesn't stop folks from kneeling next to it and touching it like it's sacred. In fact, when the crusaders were here, they found 3 crosses buried on the spot they would then claim was the location of Jesus' crucifixion. But in 70 A.D. the Romans were crucifying at a rate of 500 people per day. Who knows who that center cross belonged to. Never the less the crusaders kept the cross and held it as sacred for 1000 years in this Church until it was destroyed by conquering Muslims who dragged the cross behind a horse through the streets. In a way I'm glad that the cross was destroyed. I think back to the Venerating of the Cross ceremony that I witnessed. We have to be very careful about what we worship, and whether it's a good idea to bow down to a rock here or a cross there. The important thing is what Jesus did for us on the cross, not the cross itself.
I have to apply this mindset to the Wailing Wall and my own cross that I wear around my neck. It's more important what God did for me at the Wailing Wall than the wall itself. Also, I wear my cross necklace not to worship it, but as a testimony for those who see it on me, letting them know that I belong to Him.
|
|
“Kill him! Kill him!” they yelled. “Nail him to a cross!”
“So you want me to nail your king to a cross?” Pilate asked.
The chief priests replied, “The Emperor is our king!” Then Pilate handed Jesus over to be nailed to a cross.
-John 19:15-16
Jesus' mother stood beside his cross with her sister and Mary the wife of Clopas. Mary Magdalene was standing there too. When Jesus saw his mother and his favorite disciple with her, he said to his mother, “This man is now your son.” Then he said to the disciple, “She is now your mother.” From then on, that disciple took her into his own home.
-John 19:25-27
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| See that ladder under the window? Pastor Josh told me a possible explanation for it. That ladder was there during his trip in 1995. The Church of the Holy Sepulchre (located in the Christian Quarter) is run by 5 different Christian sects. The Law of Status Quo was signed in 1852 which made it so that any changes made to the Church had to be approved by all 5 branches. Folklore has it that someone was cleaning that window when the law was signed. |
Shepherds' Field
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| Know that the Lord, he is God! It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture. -Psalm 100:3 |
Our group files back onto the bus. We have one more stop for the day: Shepherds' Field. This field overlooks the City of Bethlehem. I recall how the cross that I wear around my neck was made in Bethlehem out of olive wood. My necklace, which I ordered online, has made a return journey to its place of origin!
 |
 |
 |
Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,
“Glory to God in the highest heaven,
and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”
When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”
-Luke 2:8-15
This location reminds me that Jesus is my shepherd, my guide. On a day in which I relinquished my wedding ring I find myself eager to get my new, hand-crafted ring that I ordered, which reads, "Where you go I will follow." My attitude is so much better when I am intentionally following Christ's leading. Tomorrow we will walk on the path of Christ, from his last supper to his tomb. It stands to be the most solemn day of the trip.
“Very truly I tell you Pharisees, anyone who does not enter the sheep pen by the gate, but climbs in by some other way, is a thief and a robber. The one who enters by the gate is the shepherd of the sheep. The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice. But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger’s voice.” -John 10:1-5
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| These sheep seek the shade of an olive tree while their shepherd stands with them. |
We end our day of exploring earlier than usual because night fall marks the beginning of the Shabbat. Mark and I once again leave our hotel window open as we sleep. Being that it's the Shabbat, Jerusalem is quiet this night. For the first night in many my ex-wife does not haunt my dreams.
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