“But when the Helper comes, whom I will send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth, who proceeds from the Father, he will bear witness about me. John 15:26
The time had come for me to share my testimony at HomeFront Church for the series entitled "My Story." The series encompassed 5 weeks and 5 different stories from 5 different Church members. My story would play on the 3rd week and the theme was "Choice." The 5 themes of the series were Setting, Hero, Choice, Problem and Happy Ending. Of the 5 stories that would be told, mine was the only one with an unresolved ending.
We filmed my video about a month out from the sermon that would take place on August 18th, 2013. I recall driving to the Church to do the recording. I prayed the whole way there. I wanted the Holy Spirit to speak so that it would come out right and help others.
Pastor Josh and Phil Griffith (a member of the leadership board and the filmmaker) instructed me. The camera began recording. This is the final edit:
After the filming completed Phil prayed with me. There was something in his prayer that has stuck with me. He referred to "That day..." It was as if he had a certainty that for my wife, there would come a day. I often had my doubts about my wife arriving at "That day." But, to hear Phil say it with such prayerful conviction gave me hope.
On the day My Story was to be told I brought along my Mom, Dad, sister Tanya, my Small Group (Matt & Tom), Tom's wife Shelly, Holly, Natalie, John, and of course my Church family was there. We even had members that showed up that had been gone for several weeks. This wasn't only my story; they had shared in the mud with me. My Story was told 1 year to the month after my first coming to HomeFront Church.
When the video played I lost it. It was hard to watch. It was the first time I had seen it. Dr. Wendy Balivet, a friend from Church that I always sit near, came over and sat next to me to give me support. After it played there was a long silence. It was heavy. A few "amens" rang out that can't be heard in the video. I knew right away that it had touched people. I heard a ton of sniffling. The sniffling continued for the remainder of the service.
God didn't give me this testimony to embarrass me. He gave it to me to help others. He gave it to me because He knew I'd be willing to share it. I've always been an open book.
It was hard to watch. It was a long 4 minutes. It may have been harder on my mom than on me. She's very angry that I have to go through this at all.
As I move closer to my baptism in the Jordan I'm beginning to wonder if the baptism will mark the beginning of something. I'm not sure what. It's still a ways off. I feel like a sword being hammered and burned into shape and the baptism will be the cooling of the blade. But before I can think about getting into the Jordan I have to get into the mud. Next week is the Mud Run 5k.
Below is the full Church Service from August 18th, 2013:
Monday, August 19, 2013
Friday, August 16, 2013
Pentecost
You have made known to me the paths of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence.' Acts 2:28
My wife and I set the date of her return to be a month out. By chance or by grand design, the official day of her return was the day of Pentecost, about 3 months after she had left. Before that day we spent precious time together and she even spent the night on occasion. She bought us tickets to a Kenny Chesney concert at Van Andel Arena. She even bought me a companion book for my Bible entitled "The Historical Atlas of the Bible." I explained to her that she did not need to shower me with gifts; she was trying to earn something already won: my forgiveness for the affair and abandonment. However, the theological gift held great significance because it displayed her acceptance of me and who I was. She admitted that while I had not persecuted her for her theology, she had not paid me the same respect. While out for dinner before the concert she noticed a family saying grace over their meal. She pointed it out to me with a smile. She was still an atheist, but she accepted my faith in me. She even wanted Pastor Josh to renew our vows in the near future.
I should also note that John no longer worked in the same building with her at Notions Marketing, which allowed her to keep that job and me.
In the month prior to my wife's return, I had spent a weekend day on a wine tour with some friends from Church. We headed south and even hit up the Casino. At the Casino, I won $100 playing 3 Card Poker (my favorite table game). $100 represented the down payment needed to secure a spot on the trip to Israel. During our Church's spring cleaning day I ran into Pastor Josh. I shared with him my updated testimony. I also gave him the $100 bill I had won; now that my wife was coming home I could travel to Israel on my birthday in 2014. Josh asked me if I would be willing to share my story in an upcoming series at Church called "My Story." I agreed to do it. I knew this testimony had been given to me to help other people.
I let everyone on Facebook know that my wife was returning via a video I posted called "By Your Side." Here it is:
Enter the Password: 33
It should have been a red flag, but she kept in contact with John right up until she moved back in. For 2 weeks things were amazing. After 2 weeks, my wife's wall came up. Luckily we were seeing a counselor (we had started seeing her before she moved back in). The counselor gave me the strength to stand up to my wife on the sexual front. My wife felt that we should look at porn to learn new things to do. However, our counselor explained that porn is destructive for marriages. The counselor let us know that some of the things she was having me do to her were unsafe. Not to mention, they were things John had done to her. Sex became very confusing and negative to me. Pornography gets into your mind like a poison. It can replace your spouse, and be a gateway to an affair. After John and my wife were found out they stopped sleeping together, even though I was separated from her, because "it was no longer exciting." That's the thing with pornography, too: it will never be enough; you'll always want something more. At least, that's what the counselor explained. Eventually my wife promised in counseling not to look at it. Before all this mess I had had no idea she even liked it. She was more open about it now; she had even mentioned watching a porno on Facebook.
My wife had always controlled the when, how, and what of intimacy. I was rejected 90% of the time. During the affair, I didn't even notice that we were hardly having sex - it wasn't something I requested - it was something she told me it was time for. The rejection was too much. I remember one time in our marriage I had told her "no" for once. I did it to prove a point. I remember she cried about it. I stood my ground. Things improved for a short time after that, but pretty soon she was back to being controlling. She has always been very controlling, but the counselor and my pastor helped me stand up to her. No porn. No threesomes. No open marriage. No doing what John did to her. Of course, that meant my wife said no to sex... period.
There were a couple of times when she saw things around the house. Once, she saw a figure crawling across the ceiling outside our room at night. On inspection I found nothing. Another time she saw a figure pass between her and the window at night in our room. I missed it. I have no idea what these things were but I always knew that this was a spiritual battle.
We still have our issues to work out. She had yet to forgive me for all my failings in the marriage. And she had not yet forgiven herself. I had to forgive her for the money that had been wasted due to the affair (in total something well over $6000). Forgiveness is hard, even when it is a core value in your faith. I did forgive her, though. The Lord will provide.
The definition of Grace is as follows:
The definition really doesn't do credit to the Christian meaning of the word. I had prayed for my wife to see God's grace back before any of the mud hit the fan. Little did I know I still had to learn what grace meant myself. Grace does not just mean forgiveness. It also means speaking kindly about my wife to others, even when asking them for their advice concerning negative things that she does. It's massaging her feet even if she's done wrong to me that day. It's ignoring the triggers in her personality that bring everything she's done crashing back into my mind. It's recognizing my role in her mistakes and making changes in myself even if she makes improvements to herself at a slower pace. It's to love her on days that her love seems so far away. It's wearing my wedding ring even though she doesn't wear hers.
It's easy to get angry under these circumstances. I found that if my actions were for myself or for my wife, I would be angry at how out of control the muddy mess was. But, when I did things for our marriage knowing that they were ultimately for God and His bigger picture, a peace came over me.
When we pray for grace, does God give us grace like an automaton? Or does God give us the opportunity to be graceful? I had started reading and performing the book "Love Dare," a 40 day challenge to heal hurting marriages. Even though a lot of it didn't apply because my wife is not a fellow believer, it was still helpful. But, to be completely honest, I was doing most of the dares in the book already. Still, it kept me focused.
My wife had returned. From time to time she would do something that I would perceive as a wrong directed at me. I would call my circle of advisers and get their advice. In the way I asked for that advice I spoke badly of her. But the Spirit convicted me. I challenged myself to go an entire week without saying anything bad about her. The week culminated in our 6 year wedding anniversary. To be honest, the challenge wasn't even hard; it was beautiful.
God's not finished with me yet.
My wife and I set the date of her return to be a month out. By chance or by grand design, the official day of her return was the day of Pentecost, about 3 months after she had left. Before that day we spent precious time together and she even spent the night on occasion. She bought us tickets to a Kenny Chesney concert at Van Andel Arena. She even bought me a companion book for my Bible entitled "The Historical Atlas of the Bible." I explained to her that she did not need to shower me with gifts; she was trying to earn something already won: my forgiveness for the affair and abandonment. However, the theological gift held great significance because it displayed her acceptance of me and who I was. She admitted that while I had not persecuted her for her theology, she had not paid me the same respect. While out for dinner before the concert she noticed a family saying grace over their meal. She pointed it out to me with a smile. She was still an atheist, but she accepted my faith in me. She even wanted Pastor Josh to renew our vows in the near future.
I should also note that John no longer worked in the same building with her at Notions Marketing, which allowed her to keep that job and me.
In the month prior to my wife's return, I had spent a weekend day on a wine tour with some friends from Church. We headed south and even hit up the Casino. At the Casino, I won $100 playing 3 Card Poker (my favorite table game). $100 represented the down payment needed to secure a spot on the trip to Israel. During our Church's spring cleaning day I ran into Pastor Josh. I shared with him my updated testimony. I also gave him the $100 bill I had won; now that my wife was coming home I could travel to Israel on my birthday in 2014. Josh asked me if I would be willing to share my story in an upcoming series at Church called "My Story." I agreed to do it. I knew this testimony had been given to me to help other people.
I let everyone on Facebook know that my wife was returning via a video I posted called "By Your Side." Here it is:
Enter the Password: 33
It should have been a red flag, but she kept in contact with John right up until she moved back in. For 2 weeks things were amazing. After 2 weeks, my wife's wall came up. Luckily we were seeing a counselor (we had started seeing her before she moved back in). The counselor gave me the strength to stand up to my wife on the sexual front. My wife felt that we should look at porn to learn new things to do. However, our counselor explained that porn is destructive for marriages. The counselor let us know that some of the things she was having me do to her were unsafe. Not to mention, they were things John had done to her. Sex became very confusing and negative to me. Pornography gets into your mind like a poison. It can replace your spouse, and be a gateway to an affair. After John and my wife were found out they stopped sleeping together, even though I was separated from her, because "it was no longer exciting." That's the thing with pornography, too: it will never be enough; you'll always want something more. At least, that's what the counselor explained. Eventually my wife promised in counseling not to look at it. Before all this mess I had had no idea she even liked it. She was more open about it now; she had even mentioned watching a porno on Facebook.
My wife had always controlled the when, how, and what of intimacy. I was rejected 90% of the time. During the affair, I didn't even notice that we were hardly having sex - it wasn't something I requested - it was something she told me it was time for. The rejection was too much. I remember one time in our marriage I had told her "no" for once. I did it to prove a point. I remember she cried about it. I stood my ground. Things improved for a short time after that, but pretty soon she was back to being controlling. She has always been very controlling, but the counselor and my pastor helped me stand up to her. No porn. No threesomes. No open marriage. No doing what John did to her. Of course, that meant my wife said no to sex... period.
There were a couple of times when she saw things around the house. Once, she saw a figure crawling across the ceiling outside our room at night. On inspection I found nothing. Another time she saw a figure pass between her and the window at night in our room. I missed it. I have no idea what these things were but I always knew that this was a spiritual battle.
We still have our issues to work out. She had yet to forgive me for all my failings in the marriage. And she had not yet forgiven herself. I had to forgive her for the money that had been wasted due to the affair (in total something well over $6000). Forgiveness is hard, even when it is a core value in your faith. I did forgive her, though. The Lord will provide.
The definition of Grace is as follows:
grace
/grās/
noun
noun
simple elegance or refinement of movement.
"she moved through the water with effortless grace"
synonyms: elegance, poise, gracefulness, finesse; suppleness, agility, nimbleness, light-footedness
"the grace of a ballerina"
"she moved through the water with effortless grace"
synonyms: elegance, poise, gracefulness, finesse; suppleness, agility, nimbleness, light-footedness
"the grace of a ballerina"
The definition really doesn't do credit to the Christian meaning of the word. I had prayed for my wife to see God's grace back before any of the mud hit the fan. Little did I know I still had to learn what grace meant myself. Grace does not just mean forgiveness. It also means speaking kindly about my wife to others, even when asking them for their advice concerning negative things that she does. It's massaging her feet even if she's done wrong to me that day. It's ignoring the triggers in her personality that bring everything she's done crashing back into my mind. It's recognizing my role in her mistakes and making changes in myself even if she makes improvements to herself at a slower pace. It's to love her on days that her love seems so far away. It's wearing my wedding ring even though she doesn't wear hers.
It's easy to get angry under these circumstances. I found that if my actions were for myself or for my wife, I would be angry at how out of control the muddy mess was. But, when I did things for our marriage knowing that they were ultimately for God and His bigger picture, a peace came over me.
When we pray for grace, does God give us grace like an automaton? Or does God give us the opportunity to be graceful? I had started reading and performing the book "Love Dare," a 40 day challenge to heal hurting marriages. Even though a lot of it didn't apply because my wife is not a fellow believer, it was still helpful. But, to be completely honest, I was doing most of the dares in the book already. Still, it kept me focused.
My wife had returned. From time to time she would do something that I would perceive as a wrong directed at me. I would call my circle of advisers and get their advice. In the way I asked for that advice I spoke badly of her. But the Spirit convicted me. I challenged myself to go an entire week without saying anything bad about her. The week culminated in our 6 year wedding anniversary. To be honest, the challenge wasn't even hard; it was beautiful.
God's not finished with me yet.
Thursday, August 15, 2013
The Flood
Save me, O God; for the waters are come in unto my soul.
I sink in deep mire, where there is no standing: I am come into deep waters, where the floods overflow me.
I am weary of my crying: my throat is dried: mine eyes fail while I wait for my God.
Psalm 69:1-3
"Lord, remember your servant!" I had prayed shortly before the flood. "What ever your will is with my wife, I trust you. Which ever path you would have me walk, I will walk it. Just please walk it with us. Thank you Lord! Your will be done, your will be done, your will be done!"
I wasn't the only one praying. Matt and Natalie and Tom were praying. I had an army of people praying for us at Church. Pastor Josh was praying for us along with the whole leadership board.
The rain had been coming for a week, maybe 2. On April 18th, 2013, the lakes, streams, creeks and ponds in West Michigan had had enough. Water spilled out into yards and streets, flooding basements, blocking roads, and closing businesses. My house was spared. It was just high enough, although my neighbor's basement flooded.
This was one of the days that my wife came over to see the kids. I texted her that my street was marked as closed but to just drive around the barrier because my house had avoided the destruction. I was nervous, though, about the rising deluge. I kept checking on the water level and every time I checked I found it a little higher. I prayed for protection from the flood and for the homes of my neighbors.
My wife was quite surprised by what she saw. When I had told her the road was flooded she was not expecting to find several people kayaking through the streets. She seemed mesmerized by it. The rain had slowed to a light sprinkle yet the water seemed to keep pouring in from somewhere. She wanted to go explore the neighborhood. She asked me if I wanted to go. I almost didn't. I had work to do. I'm glad I went with her. We took the 3 kids and went on an adventure.
The kids loved it. My wife was having fun. I forgot my troubles. For a short bit, I forgot that we were no longer a family. I think my wife did, too. I say that because she posted a picture on Facebook and called it "our street." She later corrected herself by answering a question in the comments of the photo by saying "Mike's house." But, the slip was made.
We returned home and my wife offered to buy pizza from Hungry Howies. That was where John worked his 2nd job. Suddenly I remembered we were no longer a family. I explained that I would never order pizza from there and it hurt me that she would even suggest it.
It was also on this night that my wife admitted to withdrawing her 401k. We had worked hard to get it up to $8000. In withdrawing it, she had thrown $3000 straight into the trash to get $5000. This upset me. Even though it was her 401k, I had helped earned that $3000 that was now gone. She said that she needed the money. I told her that I would come after part of the $5000 during the prosecution. She became angry with me. I became angry with the disproportionate amount of money she got out of the split compared to me and the kids.
What had been a great day between the 2 of us was spiraling quickly. Grace came over me. I just wanted things to be good. I wanted her to be happy. Sobbing, I came up behind her and grabbed her in a hug. "Let go of me," she ordered.
"You can keep the money," I cried, still holding her. "I won't come after it. Are we good?"
"Are we?" she asked back, calmed.
"Yes," I told her. If I had to pinpoint a moment in which I forgave her the abandonment I felt, I believe it to be right then.
She left that night after we put the kids to bed, like she always did. I went back to work down in my office.
That night I received a text message from my wife, "Does your family hate me?"
"No," I texted her. "You gave them 3 beautiful kids."
The texting didn't stop there. It went on. As the conversation progressed, it became very clear to me that my wife was missing me. She wanted to come home. She felt what I had felt earlier in the day. I asked if I could call her instead of texting but she wanted to text. It gave her time to think about her responses. She was very afraid about making the wrong choice about big decisions. She told me that she still loved me, that she had never stopped.
She let me know that one of the reasons for the affair, "Was our beautiful beautiful kids."
She texted me, "You are probably wondering what changed."
"Yes," I answered. "I was waiting for the right moment to ask."
"It's like a fog has been lifted," she answered.
I fell to the ground and worshiped God. I sang His praises that night. I had forgotten what happiness felt like. My wife and I had been separated for 2 months. I was consumed with joy. I often wonder what the fog was. The easy answer would be postpartum depression, however, she had virtually none of the symptoms and even displayed their exact opposite. She refused to be tested for it. If I had to guess as to why she refused, I think it's because she feared that she would not be diagnosed with postpartum, and would lose that illness as an excuse for her actions.
"What if I wake up in the morning and I don't feel like this anymore?" she asked me. "I would hurt you all over again."
"How do I say this -" I answered. "To have the chance to raise my kids with my wife at my side, to grow old together, to show everyone that we made it through this trial to the other side... that's a chance I'm willing to take."
The next day I awoke to find the water had completely receded. The flood just up and vanished overnight. I'm happy to report that when I dropped the kids off to her the next night (a Friday), the fog was still lifted.
I sink in deep mire, where there is no standing: I am come into deep waters, where the floods overflow me.
I am weary of my crying: my throat is dried: mine eyes fail while I wait for my God.
Psalm 69:1-3
"Lord, remember your servant!" I had prayed shortly before the flood. "What ever your will is with my wife, I trust you. Which ever path you would have me walk, I will walk it. Just please walk it with us. Thank you Lord! Your will be done, your will be done, your will be done!"
I wasn't the only one praying. Matt and Natalie and Tom were praying. I had an army of people praying for us at Church. Pastor Josh was praying for us along with the whole leadership board.
This was one of the days that my wife came over to see the kids. I texted her that my street was marked as closed but to just drive around the barrier because my house had avoided the destruction. I was nervous, though, about the rising deluge. I kept checking on the water level and every time I checked I found it a little higher. I prayed for protection from the flood and for the homes of my neighbors.
 |
| "our street" |
 |
| Josie (left) and Brynn (right) |
We returned home and my wife offered to buy pizza from Hungry Howies. That was where John worked his 2nd job. Suddenly I remembered we were no longer a family. I explained that I would never order pizza from there and it hurt me that she would even suggest it.
It was also on this night that my wife admitted to withdrawing her 401k. We had worked hard to get it up to $8000. In withdrawing it, she had thrown $3000 straight into the trash to get $5000. This upset me. Even though it was her 401k, I had helped earned that $3000 that was now gone. She said that she needed the money. I told her that I would come after part of the $5000 during the prosecution. She became angry with me. I became angry with the disproportionate amount of money she got out of the split compared to me and the kids.
What had been a great day between the 2 of us was spiraling quickly. Grace came over me. I just wanted things to be good. I wanted her to be happy. Sobbing, I came up behind her and grabbed her in a hug. "Let go of me," she ordered.
"You can keep the money," I cried, still holding her. "I won't come after it. Are we good?"
"Are we?" she asked back, calmed.
"Yes," I told her. If I had to pinpoint a moment in which I forgave her the abandonment I felt, I believe it to be right then.
She left that night after we put the kids to bed, like she always did. I went back to work down in my office.
That night I received a text message from my wife, "Does your family hate me?"
"No," I texted her. "You gave them 3 beautiful kids."
The texting didn't stop there. It went on. As the conversation progressed, it became very clear to me that my wife was missing me. She wanted to come home. She felt what I had felt earlier in the day. I asked if I could call her instead of texting but she wanted to text. It gave her time to think about her responses. She was very afraid about making the wrong choice about big decisions. She told me that she still loved me, that she had never stopped.
She let me know that one of the reasons for the affair, "Was our beautiful beautiful kids."
She texted me, "You are probably wondering what changed."
"Yes," I answered. "I was waiting for the right moment to ask."
"It's like a fog has been lifted," she answered.
I fell to the ground and worshiped God. I sang His praises that night. I had forgotten what happiness felt like. My wife and I had been separated for 2 months. I was consumed with joy. I often wonder what the fog was. The easy answer would be postpartum depression, however, she had virtually none of the symptoms and even displayed their exact opposite. She refused to be tested for it. If I had to guess as to why she refused, I think it's because she feared that she would not be diagnosed with postpartum, and would lose that illness as an excuse for her actions.
"What if I wake up in the morning and I don't feel like this anymore?" she asked me. "I would hurt you all over again."
"How do I say this -" I answered. "To have the chance to raise my kids with my wife at my side, to grow old together, to show everyone that we made it through this trial to the other side... that's a chance I'm willing to take."
The next day I awoke to find the water had completely receded. The flood just up and vanished overnight. I'm happy to report that when I dropped the kids off to her the next night (a Friday), the fog was still lifted.
 |
| Buck Creek became Buck Sea |
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
Run With Me
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
II found myself wondering, "Did God really answer my prayer for more Time?" Yeah, I had quit all of my hobbies, but I spent all my new time watching the kids and working - other than Friday & Saturday nights. This didn't feel like more time to make disciples. Then it dawned on me: the kids. I spent more time with my kids than ever before. Under our current living arrangement we could pray before every meal and before bedtime and pray whenever the Spirit compelled us. We could blast Christian music and sing and dance together. There are certain songs my girls love to hear. They know the words and always join in when songs come on like The Great I Am and 10,000 Reasons and Revelation Song, to name a few.
As I run the race of life I praise God for the other believers he has racing alongside me. Why do I still praise God even though my kids and I are going through a really rough time? I was not put on earth to be happy. I was put on earth to praise God. I could spend my time seeking happiness through sin and maybe find it from time to time. Or, I could spend my time seeking holiness and Christian fellowship. Then, true joy will come as a byproduct. It's easy to praise God when the sky is blue and the birds are chirping. But, my reason for existing is to exalt Him, no matter what the situation is. And no matter what that situation may be, God has blessed us with other believers so we do not have to run alone.
II found myself wondering, "Did God really answer my prayer for more Time?" Yeah, I had quit all of my hobbies, but I spent all my new time watching the kids and working - other than Friday & Saturday nights. This didn't feel like more time to make disciples. Then it dawned on me: the kids. I spent more time with my kids than ever before. Under our current living arrangement we could pray before every meal and before bedtime and pray whenever the Spirit compelled us. We could blast Christian music and sing and dance together. There are certain songs my girls love to hear. They know the words and always join in when songs come on like The Great I Am and 10,000 Reasons and Revelation Song, to name a few.
Other discipleship was afoot as well. My Friday and Saturday nights were spent
interacting with a variety of different people.
Through these interactions, two friendships emerged that stand out.
Matt
 |
| Matt & Holly |
Matt was originally introduced to me through my wife's
circle of friends many years ago. We saw
each other at the annual Halloween Party, and were Facebook friends, but beyond
that we were better classified as acquaintances.
Matt's Church performed a play entitled Shadows. Matt had several
tickets and felt compelled by the Spirit to invite me. The phone call from Matt seemed out of the
blue. I remember him telling me that he
had prayed over the tickets to decide who he should give the last one to. My name was given to him. It just so happened that my Friday night was
free and I agreed to go with him, his girlfriend Holly, and a couple of his
roommates.
The play struck a chord in me. The theme of the play was grace. It was about a wife who sacrificed her own
life to save her non-believing, cheating husband, who would later accept Christ
into his heart. The story jumped back
and forth between the 1950's and the time of Christ. I spent many moments of the play trying to
mask my tears as the story unfolded. In
many ways it was my story. After the
play Matt asked me what I thought of it.
I told Matt that I wanted to share my testimony with him. That night we went back to his place with
everyone. Some other folks came over as
well. A party scene began to
emerge. But, the conversation turned to
the Lord and to the play and to some degree, my wife and I.
I did not have my private conversation with Matt that
night. I came back to his place the next
night as well. This was rare for
me. I usually spent each night with a
completely new group of people, even week to week. This time, Matt and I went downstairs and I
shared my testimony with him. I
explained how God had moved in my life, how God had answered my prayers to show
my wife grace. Matt was moved. He told me his story, and how he was walking
closer with God now, and how he needed more fellow believers in his life to
motivate him. He would later share my
story with Holly's family as well.
From that encounter came several dinners together and the creation
of a Small Group that met on Saturdays. The Small Group included my friend Tom
who had originally led me to God when I was in my early teens.
Matt and Holly now attend HomeFront Church. A few months after this all went down, Matt asked Holly's dad for permission to marry her. I am to be a groomsman in their wedding.
Natalie
Natalie was also introduced to me through my wife's circle
of friends many years ago (the same circle that included Matt). She had joined the military several years
back and had moved away. But we were
Facebook friends, so I was able to see how she was doing. She had married John, who she met while in
the service. She had two kids and one more
on the way.
To set the stage I want to go back in time prior to me
finding out about the affair, but after attending HomeFront Church. Somewhere in the middle there, when I was
running high in the Spirit, Natalie began posting on Facebook that she was
having doubts about her belief in God.
However, she was coming back from her apostate and posting on Facebook
that she was starting to believe again.
Many of her atheist friends were coming after her pretty hard with their
posts.
I posted something along the lines of, "It's not a bad
thing to have doubts. I had doubts,
too. Through research and soul searching
my faith came out stronger than ever before."
It was a post of light in the midst of many posts of
darkness.
Fast forward to May 2013.
Natalie and her husband John are moving back into the neighborhood. I am sitting in my office working that
weekend when I get a Facebook message.
It's from Natalie asking if I could help her and John move stuff from
the U Haul Truck up to their apartment.
Like Matt's phone call, this seemed out of the blue. After so many people had helped me through my
mud I get a lot of pleasure in randomly helping other people. I said yes and came over.
I was the only person helping them move. Natalie asked me where my wife was. She had no idea that she had left me. After moving (and during) I gave Natalie and
John my testimony. They needed a new church to attend now that they had moved.
So, I invited them to HomeFront.
During the first service with Natalie, the guest pastor
taught us about Claim Your Campus. The
purpose of this organization reads as follows:
Our organization & strategy is
focused on unleashing a generation of young people to bring about a spiritual
awakening in America so that we are NEVER THE SAME.
We learned about an upcoming Mud Run 5K. The money raised would go to Claim Your
Campus. I had never run in a 5K before
but I saw it as a chance to contribute to making disciples. Also, the run through the mud served as a
metaphor for my life at the moment and my current "running the race"
(1 Corinthians 9:24-27). I began to
train using a program called Couch to 5K.
 |
| John and Natalie and our kids taking a walk down Kent Trails |
As I run the race of life I praise God for the other believers he has racing alongside me. Why do I still praise God even though my kids and I are going through a really rough time? I was not put on earth to be happy. I was put on earth to praise God. I could spend my time seeking happiness through sin and maybe find it from time to time. Or, I could spend my time seeking holiness and Christian fellowship. Then, true joy will come as a byproduct. It's easy to praise God when the sky is blue and the birds are chirping. But, my reason for existing is to exalt Him, no matter what the situation is. And no matter what that situation may be, God has blessed us with other believers so we do not have to run alone.
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