Running the Race

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.  Corinthians 9:24

The Spirit was moving in me.  I had found my Church home and the time had come to bring my family.  My wife came a few times.  Whereas Church filled an emptiness I felt, it made her realize that she was an Atheist.

Long ago, when she and I were courting, I had made known to her that I am a Christian.  I explained that it bothered me to know that she, someone I loved, would spend eternity in separation from God (a feeling I would hope all Christians feel toward their non-believing loved ones).  Not long after that, she came to me and proclaimed that she had accepted Jesus Christ as her savior.  I was extremely happy, and will remember that moment for the rest of my life.  Sadly, she has no recollection of it.  I am reminded of the verse from 1 John 2:19, They went out from us, but they did not really belong to us. For if they had belonged to us, they would have remained with us; but their going showed that none of them belonged to us.  In retrospect, I do not think she truly accepted Jesus’ offer.

My wife did not come right out and say that she was an Atheist at first.  She instead made excuses as to why she could not attend Church.  This was easy because we had a new baby in the house.  I found out definitively one day while I was doing dishes and listening to Christian music.  She asked that I turn the music off because it was "[expletive]-ing stupid."

A couple of months later, I remembered seeing on her Facebook quote section a lyric from the band Florence and the Machine:

And I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't
So here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my rope
And I'm ready to suffer and I'm ready to hope
It's a shot in the dark and right at my throat
Cause looking for heaven, found the devil in me
Looking for heaven, found the devil in me
Well what the hell I'm gonna let it happen to me 

While saddened by her apostate, I did not judge her.  I, however, felt persecuted.  My Christianity was not accepted.  Thankfully, she allowed me to bring the kids to Church.  I think the reason she allowed it was because:  (1) the kids loved going (2) Sunday school got the kids prepared for school-situations (they were still too young to attend school), and (3) it gave her some free time on Sunday mornings.

I desired to help out at HomeFront and find my place in the Church body.  We had a meeting after one of the services about "plugging in."  At the meeting, we rated ourselves 1 through 5 in several categories.  I had some 1's and some 5's and a lot in between.  The purpose of this exercise was to help us find our niche, whether it be tech booth, working with kids, hospitality, etc.  I recall putting down a 5 for "Faith."  Not too long after this meeting, I remember being at home and about to get into the shower.  Something stopped me dead in my tracks.  Something inside my soul told me, "Your faith will be tested."  I have no idea if it was an angel or a prompting from the Spirit or something else.  I remember saying out loud, "Please don't test me...  I will pass but please don't test me."

When my wife stopped breast feeding she arranged a play date at a place called Java Gym with a co-worker and his kids.  At first, she didn't want me to go.  She wanted me to stay home and watch baby James while she took the two older girls.  I convinced her that I should go with my family.  I told her that guys never just have girls for friends, and that she should be careful about hanging out with another guy.  She assured me that there was nothing going on.  I went along and met him, Marty.  I was running high in the Spirit and loving everyone the Lord put in front of me.  I met Marty and I chose to love him.

Shortly after this my wife used tax return money to get a tattoo on her chest.  It was a rose logo from the band Depeche Mode.  Although over the top, I thought it was beautiful.  But, she began to act differently.  Despite her apostate we had a good marriage (not a perfect marriage, but a good one).  But something changed about her.  She became distant, withdrawn.  It's hard to explain but I am very in-tune to this sort of thing in people.  I could feel a tension in our marriage developing where there had been none.  We were working opposite shifts which was not ideal, but I knew many couples did that.  The arrangement was temporary - until all the kids were in school. However, it all reset with the new baby, who was an unexpected surprise.  Thankfully, my daily devotional from Greg Laurie came to my rescue.  He was doing a 3 week series on healing hurting marriages.  Greg taught me about Agape Love.  I kept my devotional a secret from my wife but starting making small improvements to my behavior.  What a crazy coincidence!  The moment I began to feel a hiccup in my marriage this devotional began to air.  Or was it a coincidence?

At the time, my wife had been sleeping on the couch next to the baby’s bassinet so that she could get up with him without disturbing me.  I let her know that I would much rather that she sleep in the bed and the baby in his crib.  I didn't fight this too hard, however, because it afforded me a good night’s rest.  However, Agape Love had me getting up with her anyway when the baby cried and tucking my wife in on the couch.  She was going into work earlier than usual on some days, so I wanted to help her out.

HomeFront Church put on a "Winter Walk" (a weekend getaway to a castle on Lake Michigan) for men from our Church as well as from our sister Church, Banner of Christ.  I went, and it was a great experience.  I got to know many new people there and I looked at them with love.  It was at this retreat that I made the decision to travel with Pastor Josh and some other people from Church to Israel in June of 2014.  The trip would take place right after my 33rd birthday.  Jesus was crucified at age 33.  I had been baptized as a baby, but the thought of a believer’s baptism in the Jordan River, like Jesus, sealed my resolve.

At the end of the weekend we were given the book "Multiply."  It is a book about making disciples.  It is one of those interactive books that you write in and watch accompanying videos online.  One of the questions in the book is, "If you choose to obey Jesus's call to follow, what might it cost you?"  I answered:  "My wife may no longer want to be with me."  Right after that it asks, "What might hold you back from following Jesus at this point?"  I answered:  "I can't think of anything holding me back other than time."

So, I prayed for two things very hard and without ceasing:  1)  I prayed for my wife to see God's grace.  2)  I prayed for more time to make disciples.  God would answer both of my prayers.


This was our theme song at the Winter Walk.  When we heard our band playing it we knew it was time to gather together.

My Church Home

"But very truly I tell you, it is for your good that I am going away.  Unless I go away, the Advocate will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you."  John 16:7, Jesus Christ speaking of the Holy Spirit

The sun comes up it's a new day dawning

It's time to sing Your song again

Whatever may pass and whatever lies before me

Let me be singing when the evening comes

-"10,000 Reasons"

In the Final Days, the Holy Spirit moves across the earth, shining through believers willing to testify.  I, Mike Endres, born June 11th, 1981, received the Holy Spirit in my early teens.  I was lead to faith thanks to my best friend Tom Searl, who invited me to attend his Church gathering.  Praise be to God.  My hunger to learn more about God compelled me to read the Scriptures from cover to cover within just a couple of years of putting my trust in the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.

The excitement of new believers is a beautiful thing.  But, like the nation of Israel during its early years, believers can fall away, their hearts drawn away by idols.  Now, I would not say that I was living a life of debauchery, but I was not walking closely with God through my twenties.  I could never find a Church home that I liked, and I often made excuses for why I should not go.

Even at the age of 31 I hardly had time to attend Church gatherings.  I had a beautiful wife, two kids, one more child on the way, and a list of hobbies a mile long.  Despite all of these obligations, the Spirit moved me to find a Church Family.  I longed for fellowship with other believers.

Then I heard of HomeFront Church, where three families that I knew attended (the Martins, the Bartz, and the Peters).  I thought I would give it a shot.  I remember showing up in a dress shirt and a tie and feeling extremely overdressed.  I learned quickly that this was a "come as you are" Church gathering.  This was good because I knew my wife would be more comfortable coming to a place like this.  I had been scouting Churches alone.

The message on my first visit focused on Paul's call to make every effort to keep unity in the Church.  I enjoyed the message, but wanted to make sure that this was the right Church gathering for me.  Was the fear of God in this place?  Too many Churches were giving in to the politically correct secular views of the 21st century and forsaking Scripture on issues like Universalism and sexual morality.  After service I sent the Pastor, Josh Good, an email.  I needed to know that this was a Church that stood with God in spite of the World.  Thankfully, I received a reply back confirming that HomeFront Church stood firmly with the Word of God on such issues.  They walked in both the Love of Christ AND the Truth of Christ (2 John).

I attended for several more weeks without my family to make sure that this was our new Church home My wife, though a Christian, did not care if we attended a Church service.  But the thirst for God and His ways were returning to me.  The Spirit was transforming me.

A month later my 3rd child was born on September 16th, 2012 at 3:03 PM.  My wife and I did not find out the sex of the baby in advance like we had our first two (both girls).  I will remember forever that moment when James came into the world and I turned to my wife and said in shock, "It's a boy!" and she replied, "WHAT?!"  If James had been a girl, his name would have been Grace.  Little did I know that his birth was the beginning of both James and grace.